Chad William Forber likes to party naked and covered in Crisco. He was all ready to get his party on early Monday in downtown Rock Island, Illinois but unfortunately had his night ruined by the cops. The police say they found Forber wandering around downtown with no clothes on and his skin slathered in grease. The only items in his possession were his shorts, which he said he took off because they were "too big," and a can of Crisco. When asked what he was up to, Forber said he was looking for a party. Cops checked the pockets of his shorts and, surprise, found meth.
It's too bad Chad didn't wander into MY neighborhood. I would've partied with him no doubt. Next time Chad, look me up. You bring the Crisco and meth, I'll bring the goldfish and Slayer cassettes. You haven't partied until you've been to a Crabbie heavy metal and goldfish party. Fuck yeah Slaaaayyyyerrrrr. It's even better when you have some meth. And pop rocks. The Crisco really comes in handy if you have to crawl through a ventilation shaft. Oh yeah, these parties get crazy. Like, dudes giving birth to other dudes crazy.
