Marion Cotillard Forehead Tittaes

Forehead Tittaes w/ Marion Cotillard from Marion Cotillard

Amazing...Marion Cotillard does have a sense of humor.  Or maybe she's just such a great actor, she can make it seem she has a sense of humor, even though she doesn't.  She is still fucking batshit.

Top Exorcist Says Devil at Work

The Catholic church's top exorcist says all the scandals plaguing the Vatican are the work of the devil.  "When one speaks of 'the smoke of Satan' in the holy rooms, it is all true – including these latest stories of violence and paedophilia," proclaims Father Gabriele Amorth, who also cites non-believing cardinals and demon-linked bishops as proof of Lucifer's handywork.  Amorth has plenty of credibility when it comes to identifying the fingerprints of Satan, having reportedly dealt with 70,000 cases of demonic possession in his 25 years as chief exorcist.  70,000 cases?  Yeah, but how many of those were Naomi Campbell?

Corey Haim Dead

Corey Haim was found dead this morning, the victim of an apparent overdose.  If we learned anything from the Brittany Murphy flap, it's that there will be more revelations. 

Corey Feldman is now the last of the two Coreys.  Unless he died in the last couple of minutes too, which wouldn't be entirely shocking.

Howard Stern on Gabourey Sidibe

You're lying if you say you haven't thought some of the things Howard says here.

Rush Limbaugh Threat

Rush Limbaugh says he will move to Costa Rica if the health care bill passes.  Rush being Rush, I assume this is an attempt to satirize all the lefties who always promise they'll move to Canada if such-and-such a Republican wins office.  Rush is a scamp.  He doesn't mean 80% of the shit he says but his listeners aren't smart enough to figure it out.  Rush could say tomorrow that he smells an asteroid coming and millions of fuckwits would start locking themselves in fallout shelters.  A lot of people would think of using that kind of power for good but Rush just uses it to make shitloads of money so he can buy drugs.  He is a gigantic con-artist.

Sarkozy-Bruni Drama

The fairy tale may be over for Frog-prez Nick Sarkozy and his slutty pop singer wife Carla Bruni.  According to French gossip blogs, both have been fucking around with other people - Nick with karate-kicking cabinet minister Chantal Jouanno, and Carla with greasy French singer Benjamin Biolay.  France being France, no one in the regular media over there seems to give a shit about these rumors at all.  Curious practice they have in other countries, separating the gossipy tabloid bullshit from the news.  I believe that's called having a sense of proportion.  One day, we may try this in America, but I'm not holding my breath.  I hope Nick and Carla are both happy and I'm sorta sad they appear to be breaking up - I'll miss Carla's frosty reactions to Michelle Obama. 

Butt Injection Drama

Six idiot New Jersey broads with not enough money and a burning desire to have a booty like Kim Kardashian have learned that their unlicensed plastic surgeons gave them injections of diluted caulk rather than the medical-grade silicone they were paying for.  So, these fools are now walking around with asses full of the same stuff people normally use to seal up their bathtubs.  Here's a tip for these morons and anyone else thinking of having work done:  don't, unless you are actually rich, and not just waiting-for-the-repo-man fake-rich.  If it means so much to you to have a fat ass, do it the old-fashioned way, with pizza and beer.