A couple weeks ago it seemed country star Randy Travis was surely headed for the grave. Fucker was suffering from a heart infection and if that wasn’t bad enough he had a stroke while receiving treatment. But I guess Travis is tougher than he looks cause he lived and now he’s actually out of the hospital. He will have to undergo physical therapy but there is a chance he will ultimately survive this insane brush with death.
I think we all know where this shit is headed. Randy will get his shit together. He will do his physical therapy. He will get his heart back in shape. And the SECOND he is fixed up? He will fall off the wagon so hard the thud will cause the entire earth to ring like a motherfucking bell. OH MY GOD RANDY TRAVIS IS RUNNING UP THE FREEWAY WEARING NOTHING BUT THE SKIN OF A FRESHLY-KILLED DEER AND WAVING AROUND A GIANT PISTOL. NOW HE’S JUMPING ON THE HOODS OF CARS AND TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH WINDSHIELD WIPERS. THIS IS SOOO SAD.