Non-Junkie Macaulay Culkin Goes To Natalie Portman's Wedding
Natalie Portman officially married her Millipede over the weekend (too late to save Alpha Bits from being a bastard) and guess who was in attendance? Macaulay Culkin. Alive and apparently not strung out. Sounds like a crasher situation but in fact Culkin was invited. He and Natalie have been buds for a long time for some reason. Sort of gutsy inviting a junkie to a wedding but of course Macaulay's not a junkie is he? Naughty me for saying that. Hand-slap! Ooh that felt kind of good. Let me do that again using my dick.
Actually this seems like a pretty shrewd move by Nat on behalf of her bud Culkin. He's been getting all this negative press lately so why not invite him? Show the world he's not a messed-up heroin addict? Take that National Enquirer! Former child stars, they stick together. Until one of them steals a bunch of the other one's stuff and pawns it for crack money. Then, not really.