But back to the stupid Chinese. They sent this little girl reporter out to this village where the stupid villagers found a mysterious mushroom buried under the ground. But it wasn't a mushroom it was a masturbation aid with an asshole at one end and a vagina at the other. The little girl reporter, being a stupid little Chinese girl who wouldn't know a sex toy if she got one stuck in her dainty little Chinese anus, didn't realize how stupid the naive villagers were and was just as astonished as they. Even the idiots at the TV network didn't realize what was going on until after the video went viral and people informed them, "Yo idiots, it's not a fucking mushroom, it's a fuck toy."
The network apologized for their mistake then blamed the whole thing on the naive girl reporter. To make amends the naive girl reporter hacked off her own thumb with a meat cleaver. China. A land of vastness and mystery. A land where they're smart enough to kick America's ass at economy stuff but at the same time not smart enough to know the difference between a mushroom and a plastic thing lonely men use for getting off. "Enigmatic" doesn't begin to cover it.