I hope I never become homeless. Not only would it suck not having a place to sleep that's warm and dry, I'd also have to worry about being attacked by assholes with vampire teeth. This one homeless guy was sleeping behind a shopping center off Interstate 5 in La Jolla, California when he was set upon by one of these vampire-toothed fucking jerk-offs. The homeless guy says the man just started kicking and punching him for no reason and also threatened to kill him. Homeless dude survives the attack and is found outside a CVS pharmacy all bloody and dazed with his eye swollen shut. Cops quickly locate the attacker and arrest him, and may charge him with attempted murder.
So many things wrong with getting vampire teeth installed in your face. First of all, it's the very definition of douchiness. Second of all, it just makes it easier for cops to find you cause, you know, most people don't have vampire teeth. It's almost as dumb as getting a swastika tattooed on your forehead from an "identifying feature that makes life way too easy for the cops" stand-point. Third of all, and this is the most important point: YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING VAMPIRE AND ONLY NEUROTIC WEIRDOS WHO CAN'T RELATE TO SOCIETY WISH THEY WERE. Okay I'm intimidated. You win. It's not like we were gonna be homies anyway.
