Melissa Mansfield Took A Break From Stealing A Car To Poop On The Side Of The Road. And Got Arrested.
This one has grand theft auto and inappropriate defecation. If it had a head in a bowling bag it would be a perfect Florida story. The perpetrator, Melissa Mansfield, was caught with a stolen car in possibly the most embarrassing way you can be caught. A Florida highway patrolman spotted Melissa squatting by the side of the road next to a parked vehicle and stopped to ask what she was doing. Melissa said that she was taking a poop. The cop then asked for identification and she didn't have any. She gave up her name and address and when the cop ran them he found out she didn't have a license. He asked where the car came from and she said it was her boyfriend's. The cop ran the license plate and contacted the owner who, surprise, had no idea who Melissa was. That's cause the car was stolen.
Look, we've all been there, right? I don't mean behind the wheel of a stolen car, I mean in a situation where we have to poop and there's no place to poop. So what do you do? Maybe if you have to go bad enough you pull over by the side of the road and drop one in the grass. In Florida you look for large reptiles first then drop your load. Here's the thing though. If you're in a stolen car? Maybe it's just me but I'm holding that one until I get home. I know holding it can be tough but, again, stolen car. Not normal circumstances. At least get to a gas station. The circumstances of this story being what they are, I have no choice but to conclude that Melissa Mansfield is a fucking idiot.