Homeless Woman Perla Serrano Is Really A Homeless Man Who Stole A Woman's Identity 13 Years Ago
The Man finally caught up with Perla Serrano. Fucker stole a woman's identity 13 years ago and spent all that time getting health care and committing other crimes using the woman's name. Did I mention that Serrano is a man? Yeah. Those mugshots are of a 51-YEAR-OLD DUDE. What kind of health care did this guy receive under his fake identity? Treatments with a time reversing elixir concocted by a wizard? Why the hell do homeless Mexicans have access to anti-aging magic when I, a full-blown white American with a place and a job, can't get so much as a single free ass exam? How the fuck is that fair? Fuck this I'm on Steven Seagal's side now. Where's my tank so I can run over a Mexican's dog???
Serrano got away with his identity theft scam for 13 years. That's a pretty god damn good run for any kind of scam. In the end it was sloppiness that got him. Yup the eternal enemy of the long-term criminal, that old demon comfort. It doesn't take Columbo or detective Dale Cooper to root out these kind of fuckers, you just have to wait and let them do something lazy and stupid. Serrano got caught cause he left his hospital wristband on while he was sleeping in a park and a deputy noticed that the wristband had a man's name on it even though he thought Serrano was a woman. That launched a two minute investigation involving a couple phone calls. Fuck police work is boring in reality. Serrano didn't even shoot it out with the deputy? He was probably worried his pretty Mexican girl-face would get fucked up. So much lotion.