756-Pound Susanne Eman Is Marrying A Chef, Shooting For 1600 Pounds
Susanne Eman weighs 756 but she wants to get up to 1600. Good thing she's engaged to marry a chef. Can he also drive a backhoe? His arm must get tired from shoveling food in that woman's mouth. A backhoe would be easier. "Open up babe here comes more elephant gristle!" I don't mean to sound cynical but I fucking refuse to believe that guy loves that woman. It's a publicity grab right? Has to be. Do NOT sit there and call it true love. He's helping her KILL herself. And not in a humane George-shooting-Lennie way. THAT was love. This is pure horrid freakishness.
The quotes from these people make me want to sick all over myself. "It's a perfect pairing," Susanne said during a brief pause from popping ham hocks like they were popcorn chicken. "I still want to be the fattest woman in the world and Parker is fine with that." Of course he is. He's TRYING TO MAKE A BUCK OFF YOU. "He loves larger women and sees how happy I am when I'm eating," Susanne went on. "His cooking skills were definitely part of the attraction. How could I resist a man with talents in the kitchen? His signature dish, spaghetti bolognese, is my favourite. I could eat it all day." COULD eat it all day?
Why hasn't this woman been hauled off to a fat farm yet? Why hasn't Parker been arrested for exploiting a mentally ill person? Why can't I find someone to marry who doesn't care how fat I am and wants nothing more than to cook me pasta and pancakes all fucking day? And doesn't give a shit if I'm lousy in the sack? Cause Parker surely doesn't care about that. Look at him. He doesn't want that fat woman in bed. He doesn't want ANY woman. He just wants to shovel food down her throat while smiling like an idiot. He's my DREAM MAN.