Don't listen to Crystal Harris when she says Hugh Hefner is bad in the sack. Instead listen to all the other playmates who are now rushing out to call Crystal Harris a lying bitch and defend Hef's bedroom abilities. That Crystal Harris is nothing but a bitter ho who is only trying to get publicity for herself by dragging Hef's good name through the mud. Hef's Playboy homegirls have the real dirt on Hef: He's packing a super-stiffy that lasts all night long and can make a woman scream so loud it shatters glass.
"Hef is a lover," said one skank whose name doesn't matter. "I think they definitely had sex more than that one time and it wasn't two minutes. Hef definitely has a sex life." Another skank said, "I think the whole thing with Crystal is really sad, and Hef is such an amazing man. He provides so much for everyone that's around him and all of the Playmates. I think some things should be kept private between two people, especially in a break-up scenario."
Oh by the way, it's absolutely irrelevant that the women all coming out in defense of Hef happen to be beholden to him in one way or another. There is no reason to suspect that Hef paid these women to speak out in his favor or threatened them in any way. They are speaking from the heart. They love Hef because he is kind and gentle and buys them things. Crystal Harris is a selfish hater and one of these days she's going to get the eye-scratching she so richly deserves.
