You know how I know Lady Gaga is a great artist? Cause she says so, that's why. And if you doubt her she will yell into your face how great she is until you give in and admit it. That's how bullies I mean great artists win over the masses. That and 99-cent Amazon downloads that still won't work after three days.
Despite Gaga's clear artistic genius, there are still people who dare to criticize her and suggest that maybe she isn't the greatest thing since ejaculation. And what does Gaga have to say to these haters? Something a lot like what she said to a Rolling Stone reporter who asked her about being an "attention-seeker." For full effect, imagine Gaga shouting these words at the top of her lungs, with spittle shooting out and her shoulder-horns turning beet-red, and her eunuchs ducking behind the furniture because they don't want her ass-flames to burn their faces off.
I have attention. Is it that you believe that I am attention-seeking or shock for shock's sake, or is it just that it's been a long time since someone has embraced the art form the way that I have? Perhaps it's been a couple of decades since there's been an artist that's been as vocal about culture, religion, human rights, politics. I'm so passionate about what I do, every bass line, every EQ. Why is it that you don't want more from the artist, why is it that you expect so little, so when I give and give, you assume it's narcissistic?
Okay Gaga, you win. You're the most important artist of the past two decades. There hasn't been a single other person in music for twenty years who's uttered a peep about religion, human rights or politics. Bono? Sting? M.I.A.? A bunch of cowering pansies. Were it not for Gaga spreading awareness, I'm pretty sure all of humanity would've plunged into darkness by now. Don't let the haters beat you down Gaga! We need you to show us the light! Catch a quick nap in your plastic egg and come out reborn, so you may do battle with the forces of intolerance to a droning and predictable disco beat!
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