Never fear suffering Haiti earthquake victims: Angelina is on the way. The UN says she spent Monday in the Dominican Republic bestowing her healing presence on hospitals full of injured evacuees, and on Tuesday she will float across the border in a bubble of heavenly light and begin soothing the worries of the millions without limbs, homes or anything to wear but old stuff from Avril Lavigne's closet. Children between the ages of one and five should begin lining up immediately, and remember kids, DO NOT WASH YOUR FACES. The more pathetic you look, the better chance you have of winning the Angelina lottery.
6 comments:
She looking at James haven?.
Jarhead
Yeah! Let's all pick on Angelina Jolie for trying to help out! She totally sucks! I wish she was like most other celebrities, who just stay in their mansions and do nothing for anyone. They rule! Boo to Angelina Jolie!
Yeah, as the UN Ambassador to fucked-up situations she sure has brought lots of attention to the plight of Afghan women being disfigured with acid, and the schools being destroyed by fanatics.
Thanks Angelina for the photo shoot in Sudan. You are doing yeoman's work.
Jarhead
Jarhead I just loved your posts. Except you forgot to add that I'm way prettier and smarter than Angelina.
Jen,
I do think you are sexier and healthier and smarter, but it's not saying much when compared to Angelina.
Her wingspan gives me nightmares, and the long skinny veiny fingers give me cause for concern.
Jarhead
Angelina should move to Haiti. Zombies are an accepted, though extremely unproductive, part of the population.
brainsssssssssss.....
Post a Comment